Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Monday, March 15, 2010
Seeing green.
30 January
Today is my very first cupcake exam;
I’m feeling two distinct feelings.
The first feeling being; wanting to suffocate Mena Davids face into my cupcake batter today just before we start.
Then the other feeling, being the feeling, feeling number two; pure joy, because I get to bake!
Now how to balance the two different feelings?
Somehow I have got to bake my batch of cupcakes without ruining the batter because of Mena`s facial grease- which will really spoil and destroy the cupcakes.
Ah Mena Davids, just the thought of her name, brings flashes of violent heart wrenching memories of her and her precious Toddy Todd Todd!
I froze as I remembered.
I looked back at my reflection in the mirror, I paused my tooth brush from tickling the rest of my gums letting it rest in the luke warm tooth paste bath.
And just then, I saw something that I had not seen before; jealousy.
I have joined the “jealousy cult”.
“Hello My name is Tallulah Belle and I’m Jealous!”
“”””””Hi Tallulah””””””””
I am jealous of what I don’t have. Full stop.
And we all know who I can’t have and why. (She needs to be eliminated at once.)
When this new found revelation had finally kicked in and sunk, and stayed for a cup of tea and a bite to eat. I realised how my eye brows creased awkwardly; unnaturally, I noticed how my face seemed to look very rigid, almost stone like because of the fury I felt every time I thought about Mena Davids.
It looked like I had been born frowning.
(Hmm this isn’t a very good look for me, and definitely not good for my health, I might have a heart attack or brain seizure from all this stress.)
I’ve got to do something proactive.
Ok I will start off by verbalising out aloud in front of disfigured face a few personal Tallulah Belle mantras:
“You’re a girl” (I have got to remind myself that)
“You are, original” (unlike Mena)
“You are, confident (most of the time)
” You are, looking at yourself in the mirror” (that’s a true statement-honesty is the best policy)
My mom at this point ruined my encouraging self help session to mumble a few words something to do with, “late and the front gate”. (I don’t have time for her charades slash key word games)
I have finished tickling my pearly whites! all my teeth.
Traffic time!!!!
(Hmm, I wonder where the paper boy is this morning.)
Not like him to be M.I.A.
He must have over slept.
Traffic was traffic. What more can I say.
I drove zoning out as usual, this time I had my radio off.
With this new found silence,
My eyes stared into the distant although I knew I wasn’t truly focusing on what the car in front of me was doing, I let these feelings drive.
I felt as though I couldn’t breath, like time had frozen, and this empty feeling had suffocated me. I tried to walk away from it mentally, but I felt frozen, with no sense of direction.
I arrived at school, and tried to hide my thoughts in its secret places. I felt my hands stiffen against the steering wheel, as my heart beat furiously inside of my chest. Thoughts of seeing him today might unleash waves of salty tears. (This means puffy eyelids)
I have managed to avoid him the past few days. I would wait an extra half an hour before I made my way to my car, or like now, in the mornings, I park around the corner, so that there is no way of my car being close to his. Like I said, I am avoiding him.
A part of me secretly wishes to see him again, and hopes to bump into him, just to see him in person. Mere flashes of him in my mind just aren’t the same.
I hate parking so far away from the actual college, I hate being far from my beautiful turquoise blue college, but it propels me forward with force. As I get closer my nose ends up leading the way to the front doors, smells of sweetness!
As I stand in the foyer I breathe in calmness and exhale nervousness- time for my exam I thought to myself. Then I heard a screech – or some people would call it the “laughter” of Mena David’s. She was behind me, a few steps behind me I guessed judging by the penetrating sound of her nauseating laughter.
“You are Original, you are confident” “you are……(being interrupted by Mena)
“Hi Tallu!”
“It’s Tallulah “MEEE”!” (Trying to make her name sound half way there in mid sentence)
“PatAtoe Potaato” (How can someone be so stupid!?!)
“Its just potato” (I started walking forward trying not to glare at her beady little eyes)
“So Tallu you ready for out practical?”
“I am ready, but I’m sure you must be nervous seeing as though you never had time to meet and practice with me, your partner!”
“You seem a bit stressed! I had a crazy weekend, Toddy and I………
“Baked cupcakes together I suppose?” (I interrupted in the nick of time, I don’t want to hear any love stories, especially from her venomous mouth.)
“Well he bought me one, for our one week anniversary- so you see I was like so busy, so busy my head nearly spun off.”
“Pity it did spin off into the moon!” I muttered shamelessly under my breath.
(I have become the leader of the jealously cult)
“What about the moon?”
“Never mind, if you don’t mind Mena I’m trying to go over the cupcake recipe and design in my mind for our prac-Id love to stay and chat all day with you but time is ticking!
“I cant wait to see what you come up with” (She bounced away on her broom)
I can’t believe that I have to share a mark with that. That. That person.
(It wasn’t the nicest word I could say-but definitely an improvement- remember I’m trying not to be jealous.)
The practical went really well, I felt nervous in the beginning and completely disgusted in Mena, but as soon as the ingredients mixed together I was a lady of temporary forgiveness.
White vanilla sponge, with white icing ,glazed with shimmery sparkly edible dust.
Mena didn’t even try one, she said that she is on a diet, I think that she is confused about being a cupcake chef or being a model. Hmm either way I don’t care!
I was happy with the outcome! I was proud of my little creations!
I walked out of the college with a sense of empowerment, like I had conquered something, or like I had climbed to the top of a mountain then looked down and appreciated the view.
I held my little cupcake in my hand, mesmerised by its beautiful shimmer, I Tallulah Belle aka magpie, flew gracefully to my little car.
“And that?”
The voice broke my stride, I immediately recognised the voice, it was Todd.
I blushed; feeling my heart sinking like it had this morning in the car.
“My practical” I( spurted out acting nonchalant.)
“Wow it looks amazing, almost unreal!”
I blushed on behalf of my cupcake, he thinks that she is amazing- (Tallulah Catch a grip here, he is just being polite, play cool.)
“Well its something I do every day, they all end up having this special factor to them (ah no, what am I doing, that was too cool)
“Pretty confident are we?”
(Well if only you knew how I practiced saying my mantras in front of my bathroom mirror)
“You could say that, and original” ( Im reciting my mantras –ah no this is going no where)
“Definitely original! Do you have a spare one?”
“No this is my last one, everyone in class had one”
“Hmm, pity, was quite keen to taste it, sometimes appearances can be misleading”
(Hmm like your Mena)
Todd looked down as if disappointed.
“Here take it!” ( I had three anyway)
“No its ok, its your last one, and you made it, you keep it!”
“Don’t worry I ate like ten of them, I don’t mind lending her to you!”
“Her?”
“Well all of my creations are females”
“And what do you mean by lending!”
“You go figured that one out” (I cant believe I said that! What does that even mean? Am I flirting here or just being weird?)
I turned around feeling rather mortified. And the strangest thing happened; Henry started walking next to me.
“I`ll walk you to your car!”
“Shouldn’t you be waiting for Mena?”
“She left already!”
“Well if you insist, I parked round the corner!”
“Why did you park so far away?”
“Long story!”
“Hmmm” he said sounding puzzled.
“What?”
“I feel almost bad eating “her”.
“You will get over it, the sweetness of the icing will sweep away the guilt."
“Well when you put it that way!” he smiled, then took a bite, he was quiet while we walked to my car. I wonder if he didn’t like the cupcake.
Then he broke the silence.
“Wow Tallulah this is amazing, and for your first practical, Id say a definite A+”
“Thank you”. My mind went all gooey from the sincere compliment, his lips distracted me as it sparkled with the edible shimmer from the little cupcake.
I blushed.
We stood there for a second, just looking at each other, almost as though we knew something special was brewing between us, but not certain of what it could be
Todd`s phone rang:
“Hello, oh Hi Mena, no im leaving college now, I will chat later”
That’s off putting, cloud popping to say the least.
I scrambled for my keys in my bag, and opened my door. As I was about to get into my car Todd spoke:” You must stop hiding round these corners, it could get dangerous in places when you can’t see round the bend”.
I got in and closed the doors, and forced a smile. He waited till I drove off before he started walking back to his car.
How can something not be hidden that’s not ready to be seen?
I did something very “un cool” and hooted as I drove past him.
This un cool action caused a wave reaction from my dear Toddy.
Today is my very first cupcake exam;
I’m feeling two distinct feelings.
The first feeling being; wanting to suffocate Mena Davids face into my cupcake batter today just before we start.
Then the other feeling, being the feeling, feeling number two; pure joy, because I get to bake!
Now how to balance the two different feelings?
Somehow I have got to bake my batch of cupcakes without ruining the batter because of Mena`s facial grease- which will really spoil and destroy the cupcakes.
Ah Mena Davids, just the thought of her name, brings flashes of violent heart wrenching memories of her and her precious Toddy Todd Todd!
I froze as I remembered.
I looked back at my reflection in the mirror, I paused my tooth brush from tickling the rest of my gums letting it rest in the luke warm tooth paste bath.
And just then, I saw something that I had not seen before; jealousy.
I have joined the “jealousy cult”.
“Hello My name is Tallulah Belle and I’m Jealous!”
“”””””Hi Tallulah””””””””
I am jealous of what I don’t have. Full stop.
And we all know who I can’t have and why. (She needs to be eliminated at once.)
When this new found revelation had finally kicked in and sunk, and stayed for a cup of tea and a bite to eat. I realised how my eye brows creased awkwardly; unnaturally, I noticed how my face seemed to look very rigid, almost stone like because of the fury I felt every time I thought about Mena Davids.
It looked like I had been born frowning.
(Hmm this isn’t a very good look for me, and definitely not good for my health, I might have a heart attack or brain seizure from all this stress.)
I’ve got to do something proactive.
Ok I will start off by verbalising out aloud in front of disfigured face a few personal Tallulah Belle mantras:
“You’re a girl” (I have got to remind myself that)
“You are, original” (unlike Mena)
“You are, confident (most of the time)
” You are, looking at yourself in the mirror” (that’s a true statement-honesty is the best policy)
My mom at this point ruined my encouraging self help session to mumble a few words something to do with, “late and the front gate”. (I don’t have time for her charades slash key word games)
I have finished tickling my pearly whites! all my teeth.
Traffic time!!!!
(Hmm, I wonder where the paper boy is this morning.)
Not like him to be M.I.A.
He must have over slept.
Traffic was traffic. What more can I say.
I drove zoning out as usual, this time I had my radio off.
With this new found silence,
My eyes stared into the distant although I knew I wasn’t truly focusing on what the car in front of me was doing, I let these feelings drive.
I felt as though I couldn’t breath, like time had frozen, and this empty feeling had suffocated me. I tried to walk away from it mentally, but I felt frozen, with no sense of direction.
I arrived at school, and tried to hide my thoughts in its secret places. I felt my hands stiffen against the steering wheel, as my heart beat furiously inside of my chest. Thoughts of seeing him today might unleash waves of salty tears. (This means puffy eyelids)
I have managed to avoid him the past few days. I would wait an extra half an hour before I made my way to my car, or like now, in the mornings, I park around the corner, so that there is no way of my car being close to his. Like I said, I am avoiding him.
A part of me secretly wishes to see him again, and hopes to bump into him, just to see him in person. Mere flashes of him in my mind just aren’t the same.
I hate parking so far away from the actual college, I hate being far from my beautiful turquoise blue college, but it propels me forward with force. As I get closer my nose ends up leading the way to the front doors, smells of sweetness!
As I stand in the foyer I breathe in calmness and exhale nervousness- time for my exam I thought to myself. Then I heard a screech – or some people would call it the “laughter” of Mena David’s. She was behind me, a few steps behind me I guessed judging by the penetrating sound of her nauseating laughter.
“You are Original, you are confident” “you are……(being interrupted by Mena)
“Hi Tallu!”
“It’s Tallulah “MEEE”!” (Trying to make her name sound half way there in mid sentence)
“PatAtoe Potaato” (How can someone be so stupid!?!)
“Its just potato” (I started walking forward trying not to glare at her beady little eyes)
“So Tallu you ready for out practical?”
“I am ready, but I’m sure you must be nervous seeing as though you never had time to meet and practice with me, your partner!”
“You seem a bit stressed! I had a crazy weekend, Toddy and I………
“Baked cupcakes together I suppose?” (I interrupted in the nick of time, I don’t want to hear any love stories, especially from her venomous mouth.)
“Well he bought me one, for our one week anniversary- so you see I was like so busy, so busy my head nearly spun off.”
“Pity it did spin off into the moon!” I muttered shamelessly under my breath.
(I have become the leader of the jealously cult)
“What about the moon?”
“Never mind, if you don’t mind Mena I’m trying to go over the cupcake recipe and design in my mind for our prac-Id love to stay and chat all day with you but time is ticking!
“I cant wait to see what you come up with” (She bounced away on her broom)
I can’t believe that I have to share a mark with that. That. That person.
(It wasn’t the nicest word I could say-but definitely an improvement- remember I’m trying not to be jealous.)
The practical went really well, I felt nervous in the beginning and completely disgusted in Mena, but as soon as the ingredients mixed together I was a lady of temporary forgiveness.
White vanilla sponge, with white icing ,glazed with shimmery sparkly edible dust.
Mena didn’t even try one, she said that she is on a diet, I think that she is confused about being a cupcake chef or being a model. Hmm either way I don’t care!
I was happy with the outcome! I was proud of my little creations!
I walked out of the college with a sense of empowerment, like I had conquered something, or like I had climbed to the top of a mountain then looked down and appreciated the view.
I held my little cupcake in my hand, mesmerised by its beautiful shimmer, I Tallulah Belle aka magpie, flew gracefully to my little car.
“And that?”
The voice broke my stride, I immediately recognised the voice, it was Todd.
I blushed; feeling my heart sinking like it had this morning in the car.
“My practical” I( spurted out acting nonchalant.)
“Wow it looks amazing, almost unreal!”
I blushed on behalf of my cupcake, he thinks that she is amazing- (Tallulah Catch a grip here, he is just being polite, play cool.)
“Well its something I do every day, they all end up having this special factor to them (ah no, what am I doing, that was too cool)
“Pretty confident are we?”
(Well if only you knew how I practiced saying my mantras in front of my bathroom mirror)
“You could say that, and original” ( Im reciting my mantras –ah no this is going no where)
“Definitely original! Do you have a spare one?”
“No this is my last one, everyone in class had one”
“Hmm, pity, was quite keen to taste it, sometimes appearances can be misleading”
(Hmm like your Mena)
Todd looked down as if disappointed.
“Here take it!” ( I had three anyway)
“No its ok, its your last one, and you made it, you keep it!”
“Don’t worry I ate like ten of them, I don’t mind lending her to you!”
“Her?”
“Well all of my creations are females”
“And what do you mean by lending!”
“You go figured that one out” (I cant believe I said that! What does that even mean? Am I flirting here or just being weird?)
I turned around feeling rather mortified. And the strangest thing happened; Henry started walking next to me.
“I`ll walk you to your car!”
“Shouldn’t you be waiting for Mena?”
“She left already!”
“Well if you insist, I parked round the corner!”
“Why did you park so far away?”
“Long story!”
“Hmmm” he said sounding puzzled.
“What?”
“I feel almost bad eating “her”.
“You will get over it, the sweetness of the icing will sweep away the guilt."
“Well when you put it that way!” he smiled, then took a bite, he was quiet while we walked to my car. I wonder if he didn’t like the cupcake.
Then he broke the silence.
“Wow Tallulah this is amazing, and for your first practical, Id say a definite A+”
“Thank you”. My mind went all gooey from the sincere compliment, his lips distracted me as it sparkled with the edible shimmer from the little cupcake.
I blushed.
We stood there for a second, just looking at each other, almost as though we knew something special was brewing between us, but not certain of what it could be
Todd`s phone rang:
“Hello, oh Hi Mena, no im leaving college now, I will chat later”
That’s off putting, cloud popping to say the least.
I scrambled for my keys in my bag, and opened my door. As I was about to get into my car Todd spoke:” You must stop hiding round these corners, it could get dangerous in places when you can’t see round the bend”.
I got in and closed the doors, and forced a smile. He waited till I drove off before he started walking back to his car.
How can something not be hidden that’s not ready to be seen?
I did something very “un cool” and hooted as I drove past him.
This un cool action caused a wave reaction from my dear Toddy.
Friday, February 19, 2010
25 Jan :" Group Project"
25th January
Group project
Today we got our first official project for baking class. I am so excited, as we get to choose our favourite desert and then have to research the best recipe and then make it within in hour in front of the examiner. The only catch is, is that we have to do it in a group. I generally don’t mind working with other people, but my lecturer thought it would be a good idea to put Mena Davids with me, what a total disaster! I don’t think that she can even bake peanut butter cookies by herself without burning them or her partner.
She is the recipe for disaster. (Cheap joke for a cheap moment!)
I flung my bag around my shoulder, and made my way to the car, I was so distracted and mentally disturbed by this new burden, that I wasn’t even thinking of Todd today. This is a good thing because he has been clouding my vision lately, visually disturbing my creative peripheral view.
I walked to the car feeling like an over boiled tea pot, steam was fuming out of m ears, if I had to open my mouth to verbalise any of it I think I would blow lava and burn someone’s face off!
As I placed my car key in the door, I heard a voice call out:
” Had a rough day”.
(I didn’t look back)
I didn’t care who was trying to make polite conversation with me, cant they see that trying to sound sympathetic will just make it worse?!
I mumbled in return under my breath,” life changing!”
The voice still focusing on the back of my head:” Yip tell me about!” (Who does this person think he is? I don’t have time for those tree hugging optimists)
The footsteps approached closer, I didn’t turn around, and instead I felt for my pepper spray in my bag.
“ Want to trade stories?” I turned around, getting ready for my volatile lava to release itself in this annoying direction. My cheeks feeling hot as ever, my throat feeling tight from anger I raised my head clenching my pepper spray , and began saying :
”Look if you don’t back off…….
My words stopped mid sentence as I stared back into those warm chocolately eyes, it was Todd, I gasped in horror! “Ah ,oh its you!”
“She speaks” he interjected swiftly.
All of a sudden I felt my anger melt, as he smiled at me. “It’s a miracle “I said.
I dropped my pepper spray back into my bag.
“Were you going to spray me with pepper spray?”
“Um maybe, no not intentionally, I thought you were someone else!”
He started laughing, and then he leaned against my car door standing next to me.
“So do you have a name? “
“Tallulah Belle”
“Well it’s a pleasure to meet you Tallulah Belle”.
I blushed and froze. Ah no my vision is blurring again!
“So how was baking today? Make any cupcakes?”
“How did you know?”
“You look like one of those type of girls, and I never saw you enter onto our campus”
“Your campus?”
“Yip next to your building, we’re over there!”
He pointed to next to a very plain and very serious looking building.
“What are you studying?” I asked trying to act very nonchalant.
As he was about to answer, I saw my mortal enemy Mena David’s approaching towards us, she had a big smile spread across her face, I couldn’t tell if she were happy or if she was cross, she had one of those faces.
She walked up to us, and swung her arms around Todd, almost punching me in the face and she pulled him closer towards he stick like figure. A prey mantis I thought to myself. Watch out, she might bite off his head!
He gently moved out of what seemed to be head lock, and he said: “Tallulah Belle this is my girlfriend, Mena, I believe you know each other from college?”
My heart felt it had just broken into a million pieces as I watched her drape her arms around him insecurely around his waist as he spoke. I bit my tongue, hoping to focus all of my tension to one place instead of onto my face. I think I bit too hard, because then my face showed pain from my tongue.
Mena gloating at this point in time spoke in her high pitch voice that I suppose only dogs could understand. “Toddy, Tallulah and I are going to be working on a cupcake project together, what fun!.”
“So much Fun Toddy” I said dryly.
Then without looking at either of them, I opened my car door and almost collapsed into my car seat. I started the car, and heard a knock on the window. It was Todd smiling and waving goodbye to me.
Mena holding him even more tightly now seemed a bit disturbed by his eagerness to say goodbye to me. I couldn’t wrap my lips into a smile; instead I looked like a dead fish and nodded my head barely even acknowledging Mena as I reversed out my parking spot.
I have never felt this kind of pain before, a sharp stabbing annoying pain in, my chest.
“Todd I hate you!” I muttered out of mouth as I drove through traffic, that little vent helped me feel some what empowered for a few seconds, but that disappeared as soon as I started remembering his smile, and his loving gaze.
“Stop it Tallulah! You stop that right now!” I cannot believe that I am reprimanding myself in the middle of traffic! This is new low for me, this is worse than the time that I fell asleep by the front door. I don’t even know the guy, he could be a total random freak, and I he is with Mena then he must have screw loose upstairs!
I have other things to worry about, like what recipe was I going to use for my first project, as I thought of some of my favourite chefs, I started remembering my dream; to open up my very own Tallulah Belle Cakes store in the middle of town.
I felt the pain start to disappear the more I started to imagine my future. As I started getting lost in these colourful pictures of what may be one day, I started getting flashes of Todd, and then the pain returned.(useless)
I pulled up into my drive way. I walked quite morbidly into the house and threw my bag onto the couch. I threw my ballet pumps against the wall, and stampede into the kitchen, this time putting on apron.
I would take my pain out on my cupcakes.
I would bake and bake, and bake, until I stopped thinking of Todd and of stupid Mena.
My mother came home, and she noticed I looked like I had the world on my mind, she gave me my much needed space in the kitchen and tip toed around me as to avoid breaking my concentration.
Finally at 12 am I stopped baking, the kitchen looked like bakery.
Dozens of cupcakes with multicoloured icing painted the countertops, I bit into one of the cupcakes, and tasted its bitter sweet texture, it didn’t taste right, and it tasted a bit sad.
My anguish had made its way into the cupcake only to find it making its way back full circle into me. A half a tear trickled down my cheek and down onto the cupcake I was holding. I placed it down, and walked to my bedroom; I lay in my bed with cooking ensemble and smothered my little tears in my pillow, and drifted off to sleep.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
"The Introduction"
19 January
Word of the day :”MORTIFIED”
The first day
Today is the day, I thought to myself as I rose from my deep slumber by the front door.
My dad left my cereal next to me before he left for work, with a small note saying
“All the best for your first day at college, love pops”.
I munched through my oats, made a quick cup of delicious early grey tea- hmm my favourite!
I brushed my teeth, fixed my hair, sprayed my vanilla spray on my neck, and practiced my formal greetings in front of the bathroom mirror, I looked myself confidently in the eyes and said :
” Hello, my name is Tallulah, who the hell are you?”.
(Hmm maybe that’s a bit to in your face?)
I tried again:” Good day, I am respectfully known as Tallulah Belle cupcake visionary, and who do you go by?”
(Hmm, that sounded a bit better), I thought I’d practice the rest of my potential greetings in my car while I sit in traffic!
But I don’t want to be late; I skipped out the door, almost forgetting to take the earl grey with me!
“Good bye mother” I sang joyfully through the key hole as I closed the door! So long loser, ha ha (Hope she never heard me)
I was so over excited about my first day that I tripped on one of the cement slabs leading to the garage. I’m a lady on the go, I don’t have time for useless setbacks, I got up dusted the grass off my now crinkled dress, and walked with my eyes on the prize!
College!
Not just any college CUPCAKE COLLEGE. Aka :COOPCAYKE CHOOFLAY (say it with me people!)
My car started as moved the key through the ignition; I wasn’t surprised as that is what normally happens when I do that. I reversed, I almost nudged the paper boy- (darn I hated it when I missed him though! )
And away I go, vroom vroom!
Time: 8 am…… college starts at 9 am. Hmm I have practiced my potential greetings, now what? I am a bit bored. I think its time for Tallulah Belle’s greatest hits compilation. And then I just let go, singing to the top of my lungs, pretending I was that singer! I had some pretty out there moves that I was experimenting with, I was on fire!
All of sudden my liberty came to a crushing halt! It was broken off by the hooting of the little blue car next to me, I looked quite upset at first, as I was rudely interrupted by a honking sound! I glared through the window and saw these dark brown eyes looking back at me, I zoomed out and saw that it was a guy, I immediately smiled the cheesiest smile, and it felt like my cheeks were sun burnt.
He waved at me and laughed, I think the word is: mortified, suddenly flash backs of singing and car dancing filtered through my mind sharply, and I could imagine what an utter idiot I must have looked like to this guy. The robots went green; I pulled my car forward trying my absolute best to never look left ever again, in case I see those brown eyes again!
I took my CD out of the player, and kept my humming to a dismal low, acting very cool in case I was being watched.
I pulled into the parking lot, of my college; it was painted a turquoise colour with big windows around the cubed looking building.
It was buzzing with people, people maybe just as excited as me. I found an opening, and parked my little automobile.
I felt destiny calling my name, or that’s what I think it was. I grabbed my bag from the passenger side, and stepped out; I could smell the past success of icing meets sponge.
There I stood, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, I heard a voice speak in front of me; “hey, are you all right?”. I opened my eyes only to discover it was the same guy that I saw in traffic. My heart stopped and my ears were set on fire! I didn’t know what to say, he spoke again breaking this very awkward silence:” So you’re stalking me?”
I can’t really remember what exactly happened next in detail, but I remember dropping my bag, with my very female props falling out between our feet. As I lent forward to start gathering my things, he dived forward and started helping me, I was shocked, as he started picking up my very girly things, and then my heart nearly dropped when I felt his hands grab my left ballet pump. I looked at him completely mortified, he smiled teasingly saying: ”Oops, sorry about that didn’t realise that was your shoe!” I kept my eyes on my bag and threw my things swiftly into my bag.
He must have thought that I was mute, I felt mute. I stood up with my now newly rearrange bag, and tried to study his face. His hair was slightly waved, and pieces would swiftly brush past his face, he had perfect straight bright white teeth, with hazel colour eyes. He smiled then broke my serious stair by introducing himself. My name is Todd James Daniel; he placed his hand in mine as if to shake it politely. My hand felt like jelly in his hands, and clammy like. I tried to practice one of my greetings, but nothing came out, it felt like I had a throat infection or like my tonsils had taken my vocal chords hostage against its will. I left my hand in his forgetting it was there, he dropped my hand gently and looked a bit disappointed that I hadn’t replied. He then looked at me a bit annoyed and mumbled something along the lines of “enjoy your first day”, and he brushed past me and he was gone.
I stood there for a few minutes trying to refocus my brain; it felt as though that brief interruption through me off course. I moved my right foot, and then the left foot followed almost immediately. I walked very bravely to the front double doors which were painted bright pink. A few girls were eagerly rushing past me obviously following their new time table religiously. I stood there taking in this moment of my first step through the front doors. This moment came to sudden halt, when a very obnoxious sounding voice pierced through my ears:” Check out this lame looking statue.”( Followed by an evil nasal laugh.)
What an unbearable sound, she shoved past me taking a good look at me. I didn’t let that awful shriek break my moment. I stepped through doors, and imagined a light from the heavens shining on me and music playing as I walked the first step on destiny path.
I studied my new time table, and looked for my first class:” Choux pastry room 1”. It was the most beautiful room that I had ever seen. Very vintage retro looking red ovens placed strategically in the room, with black and white tiles on the floor.
The master chef educator rose to her feet from her desk, and started off with a very friendly speech:” Welcome to your first day of what might be a miniature version of hell, some of you I will naturally like, some of you I will despise either because I find your cooking to be repulsive and embarrassing to everything we stand for.”
I was moved by that speech, as we were about to start I heard that horrid high pitch laugh ring through my ears, the chef educator called out:” Mena Stuppels, could you quieten down”. But that request made her snicker even louder almost as though she were protesting; I wanted to throw my book deep into her Adams apple. But instead a grabbed my pencil and started doodling outlines of cupcakes.
The day passed by so quickly , least I was able to make one decent potential friend named Annie, she seemed quite nice and friendly, very clumsy but nice non the less. We sat next to each other in bake theory class. Least she was able to block the view Mena Stuppels,
As I walked to my car I saw Todd talking to some guys next to his car, I was trying to think of ways, in which I could ignore bumping into him again. As I was contemplating these ideas I already found myself walking towards them. I looked down as walk, hoping that he wouldn’t recognise me, I thought if id stare hard towards the ground id literally disappear. I heard their voices get louder, as I walked closer, I was so busy looking down that I felt myself bump into something very hard, almost knocking me to the floor, when I looked up to see what I had bumped into, I saw Todd trying to hold me up by my shoulders. I froze, as I looked into his warm brown eyes. He looked concerned:” Are you ok? I didn’t see you there!” I nodded my head then heard his friends burst out laughing. I felt like my body went on fire, but not in a good way, crispy instead of well done!
He glared at his friends, almost as though he were trying to shield me from them. I didn’t need him to defend me; I can take care of myself! I moved my shoulders away from his hands, and walked to my car, trying very hard not to look back at him.
For some reason it felt like my car keys had disappeared in my bag, I must have Mary Poppin`s bag- cause I could find everything else besides my keys. Finally found my keys in my jacket pocket. I pulled my car into reverse and managed not to look back, I hoped that I wouldn’t knock him over by accident.
My drive back home was quite quiet, although my mind was running a million miles towards Toddles. There was nothing really special about him, I tried to convince myself. Besides his dreamy eyes, he was rather plain. I thought to myself.
I must focus on my studies and not let some guy distract me from my vision! “ELSIE”……
I pulled my car into the garage, and grabbed my things, and slowly walked to the front door. When I got inside I realised the house was quite peaceful, my parents hadn’t arrived home yet from work. I sunk into the couch, exhausted from all the embarrassment that I had experienced today. I closed my eyes and let my thoughts drift, only to find that I had fallen asleep.
Word of the day :”MORTIFIED”
The first day
Today is the day, I thought to myself as I rose from my deep slumber by the front door.
My dad left my cereal next to me before he left for work, with a small note saying
“All the best for your first day at college, love pops”.
I munched through my oats, made a quick cup of delicious early grey tea- hmm my favourite!
I brushed my teeth, fixed my hair, sprayed my vanilla spray on my neck, and practiced my formal greetings in front of the bathroom mirror, I looked myself confidently in the eyes and said :
” Hello, my name is Tallulah, who the hell are you?”.
(Hmm maybe that’s a bit to in your face?)
I tried again:” Good day, I am respectfully known as Tallulah Belle cupcake visionary, and who do you go by?”
(Hmm, that sounded a bit better), I thought I’d practice the rest of my potential greetings in my car while I sit in traffic!
But I don’t want to be late; I skipped out the door, almost forgetting to take the earl grey with me!
“Good bye mother” I sang joyfully through the key hole as I closed the door! So long loser, ha ha (Hope she never heard me)
I was so over excited about my first day that I tripped on one of the cement slabs leading to the garage. I’m a lady on the go, I don’t have time for useless setbacks, I got up dusted the grass off my now crinkled dress, and walked with my eyes on the prize!
College!
Not just any college CUPCAKE COLLEGE. Aka :COOPCAYKE CHOOFLAY (say it with me people!)
My car started as moved the key through the ignition; I wasn’t surprised as that is what normally happens when I do that. I reversed, I almost nudged the paper boy- (darn I hated it when I missed him though! )
And away I go, vroom vroom!
Time: 8 am…… college starts at 9 am. Hmm I have practiced my potential greetings, now what? I am a bit bored. I think its time for Tallulah Belle’s greatest hits compilation. And then I just let go, singing to the top of my lungs, pretending I was that singer! I had some pretty out there moves that I was experimenting with, I was on fire!
All of sudden my liberty came to a crushing halt! It was broken off by the hooting of the little blue car next to me, I looked quite upset at first, as I was rudely interrupted by a honking sound! I glared through the window and saw these dark brown eyes looking back at me, I zoomed out and saw that it was a guy, I immediately smiled the cheesiest smile, and it felt like my cheeks were sun burnt.
He waved at me and laughed, I think the word is: mortified, suddenly flash backs of singing and car dancing filtered through my mind sharply, and I could imagine what an utter idiot I must have looked like to this guy. The robots went green; I pulled my car forward trying my absolute best to never look left ever again, in case I see those brown eyes again!
I took my CD out of the player, and kept my humming to a dismal low, acting very cool in case I was being watched.
I pulled into the parking lot, of my college; it was painted a turquoise colour with big windows around the cubed looking building.
It was buzzing with people, people maybe just as excited as me. I found an opening, and parked my little automobile.
I felt destiny calling my name, or that’s what I think it was. I grabbed my bag from the passenger side, and stepped out; I could smell the past success of icing meets sponge.
There I stood, I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, I heard a voice speak in front of me; “hey, are you all right?”. I opened my eyes only to discover it was the same guy that I saw in traffic. My heart stopped and my ears were set on fire! I didn’t know what to say, he spoke again breaking this very awkward silence:” So you’re stalking me?”
I can’t really remember what exactly happened next in detail, but I remember dropping my bag, with my very female props falling out between our feet. As I lent forward to start gathering my things, he dived forward and started helping me, I was shocked, as he started picking up my very girly things, and then my heart nearly dropped when I felt his hands grab my left ballet pump. I looked at him completely mortified, he smiled teasingly saying: ”Oops, sorry about that didn’t realise that was your shoe!” I kept my eyes on my bag and threw my things swiftly into my bag.
He must have thought that I was mute, I felt mute. I stood up with my now newly rearrange bag, and tried to study his face. His hair was slightly waved, and pieces would swiftly brush past his face, he had perfect straight bright white teeth, with hazel colour eyes. He smiled then broke my serious stair by introducing himself. My name is Todd James Daniel; he placed his hand in mine as if to shake it politely. My hand felt like jelly in his hands, and clammy like. I tried to practice one of my greetings, but nothing came out, it felt like I had a throat infection or like my tonsils had taken my vocal chords hostage against its will. I left my hand in his forgetting it was there, he dropped my hand gently and looked a bit disappointed that I hadn’t replied. He then looked at me a bit annoyed and mumbled something along the lines of “enjoy your first day”, and he brushed past me and he was gone.
I stood there for a few minutes trying to refocus my brain; it felt as though that brief interruption through me off course. I moved my right foot, and then the left foot followed almost immediately. I walked very bravely to the front double doors which were painted bright pink. A few girls were eagerly rushing past me obviously following their new time table religiously. I stood there taking in this moment of my first step through the front doors. This moment came to sudden halt, when a very obnoxious sounding voice pierced through my ears:” Check out this lame looking statue.”( Followed by an evil nasal laugh.)
What an unbearable sound, she shoved past me taking a good look at me. I didn’t let that awful shriek break my moment. I stepped through doors, and imagined a light from the heavens shining on me and music playing as I walked the first step on destiny path.
I studied my new time table, and looked for my first class:” Choux pastry room 1”. It was the most beautiful room that I had ever seen. Very vintage retro looking red ovens placed strategically in the room, with black and white tiles on the floor.
The master chef educator rose to her feet from her desk, and started off with a very friendly speech:” Welcome to your first day of what might be a miniature version of hell, some of you I will naturally like, some of you I will despise either because I find your cooking to be repulsive and embarrassing to everything we stand for.”
I was moved by that speech, as we were about to start I heard that horrid high pitch laugh ring through my ears, the chef educator called out:” Mena Stuppels, could you quieten down”. But that request made her snicker even louder almost as though she were protesting; I wanted to throw my book deep into her Adams apple. But instead a grabbed my pencil and started doodling outlines of cupcakes.
The day passed by so quickly , least I was able to make one decent potential friend named Annie, she seemed quite nice and friendly, very clumsy but nice non the less. We sat next to each other in bake theory class. Least she was able to block the view Mena Stuppels,
As I walked to my car I saw Todd talking to some guys next to his car, I was trying to think of ways, in which I could ignore bumping into him again. As I was contemplating these ideas I already found myself walking towards them. I looked down as walk, hoping that he wouldn’t recognise me, I thought if id stare hard towards the ground id literally disappear. I heard their voices get louder, as I walked closer, I was so busy looking down that I felt myself bump into something very hard, almost knocking me to the floor, when I looked up to see what I had bumped into, I saw Todd trying to hold me up by my shoulders. I froze, as I looked into his warm brown eyes. He looked concerned:” Are you ok? I didn’t see you there!” I nodded my head then heard his friends burst out laughing. I felt like my body went on fire, but not in a good way, crispy instead of well done!
He glared at his friends, almost as though he were trying to shield me from them. I didn’t need him to defend me; I can take care of myself! I moved my shoulders away from his hands, and walked to my car, trying very hard not to look back at him.
For some reason it felt like my car keys had disappeared in my bag, I must have Mary Poppin`s bag- cause I could find everything else besides my keys. Finally found my keys in my jacket pocket. I pulled my car into reverse and managed not to look back, I hoped that I wouldn’t knock him over by accident.
My drive back home was quite quiet, although my mind was running a million miles towards Toddles. There was nothing really special about him, I tried to convince myself. Besides his dreamy eyes, he was rather plain. I thought to myself.
I must focus on my studies and not let some guy distract me from my vision! “ELSIE”……
I pulled my car into the garage, and grabbed my things, and slowly walked to the front door. When I got inside I realised the house was quite peaceful, my parents hadn’t arrived home yet from work. I sunk into the couch, exhausted from all the embarrassment that I had experienced today. I closed my eyes and let my thoughts drift, only to find that I had fallen asleep.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
First Day of College (",)
January 18
“The day before”
I woke up this morning feeling very excited and confused about starting my life as a student.
I woke up at 6 am, I thought that I would practice waking up at 6 am; so that I could get used this disciplined life as a cup cake chef.
I thought that I would start this day by driving to my new college, and pretend that today was my first day at college, so today I will wear tomorrows clothes (a cute 50`s frock, my favourite green cardigan, and my new lucky silk head band, and of course my cute adorable favourite black pants) This would be today’s and tomorrows outfit!
As I got out of bed, I felt something knock me back into my pillow. I lay there feeling heavy, like a boulder for the penguins to bask upon. But I did not feel like being a penguin’s litter box today no sorreee! But for some reason I couldn’t move, I felt paralysed. The only thing that was able to function was my little brain “Betsy”. Yes I have named my brain!
7 am, I am running behind on my pretend first day schedule, what a disaster!
Why can’t I move?
My mom came into my bedroom, and I told her about my devastating predicament , she tried to pick me up, but alas, her arms fell off ( not really, but it could have)
she said that I was being silly, and that I was probably nervous for my big day tomorrow. I insisted that I had some kind of deformity that had developed over night! She sighed then left me in this rotten state- unforgivable move mother! Leaving your daughter paralysed and doomed to be depressed for who knows how long!
8 am, here I am still lying like a rock, I could’ve sworn that a pigeon made a nest in my hair , it feels like I have been here for years, been locked up physically like a prison. How could my body turn on me like this!
8:30 am, ok this is extremely boring! Hmm, I must attempt some kind of movement! I will attempt moving my big toe; I concentrated really hard, and placed all of my focus and energy into moving my right sided big toe! “Come on toe” I shouted, but again, another huge disappointment! Nothing.
9 am, I started to talking to myself, I laughed with myself, then began crying, and also pretending to act shocked at myself at my responsive dialogue. Actually I was surprised that I was surprising myself, hmm this is an all time low!
Time to imagine Elsie, My dream cupcake! Elsie has been a dream ever since I can remember. She is the ultimate or should I say will be the most ultimate cupcake the world has ever seen. I started imagining the sponge of Elsie, I started picturing the sweet delicious fluffy pink icing that would become Elsie’s hair, hmm mouth watering indeed!
As I started picturing Elsie, I could start to feel my body defrosting; the warmth of Elsie’s everlasting personality had broken through the walls of this paralysing fear of starting my studies! I sat up, I rolled my legs to the side of bed, I placed my weight on my two naked feet, and stood!
“I am standing”: I sang.
What a moment to remember! I got ready for my pretend my first day; I marched out of my bedroom triumphantly!
Nothing could stop me now, my parents watched as I opened the door, a bit confused by this transaction. I didn’t let that confuse me, I was a free woman! I opened the door, swung it past my empowered body.
I stood there frozen once again, as I realised it was dark, 8 pm, time had past so suddenly whilst I lay dead on bed.
I lay on the floor half outside the front door and half inside of my house. I couldn’t move, my paralysing moment had returned!
My mother came to see what I was doing on the floor; maybe she thought I was licking the floor clean!
I opened my cold frozen mouth, and said:” I can’t believe tomorrow will be the first time.” And before I could finish off the sentence, mother placed the rug over my body, and said: “Least you will be dressed and ready for your first day of college sweaty”, now get some rest!
I decided that I would sleep here, I think I decided that because I couldn’t actually move, but my mother was right, as soon as my alarm hit 6 am, I would rise front his comatose state and fly into my car already dressed and ready for my first day.
“The day before”
I woke up this morning feeling very excited and confused about starting my life as a student.
I woke up at 6 am, I thought that I would practice waking up at 6 am; so that I could get used this disciplined life as a cup cake chef.
I thought that I would start this day by driving to my new college, and pretend that today was my first day at college, so today I will wear tomorrows clothes (a cute 50`s frock, my favourite green cardigan, and my new lucky silk head band, and of course my cute adorable favourite black pants) This would be today’s and tomorrows outfit!
As I got out of bed, I felt something knock me back into my pillow. I lay there feeling heavy, like a boulder for the penguins to bask upon. But I did not feel like being a penguin’s litter box today no sorreee! But for some reason I couldn’t move, I felt paralysed. The only thing that was able to function was my little brain “Betsy”. Yes I have named my brain!
7 am, I am running behind on my pretend first day schedule, what a disaster!
Why can’t I move?
My mom came into my bedroom, and I told her about my devastating predicament , she tried to pick me up, but alas, her arms fell off ( not really, but it could have)
she said that I was being silly, and that I was probably nervous for my big day tomorrow. I insisted that I had some kind of deformity that had developed over night! She sighed then left me in this rotten state- unforgivable move mother! Leaving your daughter paralysed and doomed to be depressed for who knows how long!
8 am, here I am still lying like a rock, I could’ve sworn that a pigeon made a nest in my hair , it feels like I have been here for years, been locked up physically like a prison. How could my body turn on me like this!
8:30 am, ok this is extremely boring! Hmm, I must attempt some kind of movement! I will attempt moving my big toe; I concentrated really hard, and placed all of my focus and energy into moving my right sided big toe! “Come on toe” I shouted, but again, another huge disappointment! Nothing.
9 am, I started to talking to myself, I laughed with myself, then began crying, and also pretending to act shocked at myself at my responsive dialogue. Actually I was surprised that I was surprising myself, hmm this is an all time low!
Time to imagine Elsie, My dream cupcake! Elsie has been a dream ever since I can remember. She is the ultimate or should I say will be the most ultimate cupcake the world has ever seen. I started imagining the sponge of Elsie, I started picturing the sweet delicious fluffy pink icing that would become Elsie’s hair, hmm mouth watering indeed!
As I started picturing Elsie, I could start to feel my body defrosting; the warmth of Elsie’s everlasting personality had broken through the walls of this paralysing fear of starting my studies! I sat up, I rolled my legs to the side of bed, I placed my weight on my two naked feet, and stood!
“I am standing”: I sang.
What a moment to remember! I got ready for my pretend my first day; I marched out of my bedroom triumphantly!
Nothing could stop me now, my parents watched as I opened the door, a bit confused by this transaction. I didn’t let that confuse me, I was a free woman! I opened the door, swung it past my empowered body.
I stood there frozen once again, as I realised it was dark, 8 pm, time had past so suddenly whilst I lay dead on bed.
I lay on the floor half outside the front door and half inside of my house. I couldn’t move, my paralysing moment had returned!
My mother came to see what I was doing on the floor; maybe she thought I was licking the floor clean!
I opened my cold frozen mouth, and said:” I can’t believe tomorrow will be the first time.” And before I could finish off the sentence, mother placed the rug over my body, and said: “Least you will be dressed and ready for your first day of college sweaty”, now get some rest!
I decided that I would sleep here, I think I decided that because I couldn’t actually move, but my mother was right, as soon as my alarm hit 6 am, I would rise front his comatose state and fly into my car already dressed and ready for my first day.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Dear Reader or Blogger,
Who ever you are,
Welcome!
Tallulah Belle Here,
Thank you for stopping by and checking in on me!
Get comfy, put your feet up or down depending on where you are sitting.
Pop the kettle on, and make yourself a cup of warm love, and sip it slowly whilst you enter the world of Tallulah Belle!
Not for the faint hearted! You might find yourself travelling through time and space as you read some of my treasured moments that I have experienced so far!
You will also get the grand opportunity of meeting my cat sprinkles, who can both read and write and speak English and Spanish, she also has a few of her short animal tales featuring on this blog!
Enjoy, and it made you feel warm and fuzzy inside then I don’t see any harm in inviting your friends and enemies to join us on this wild adventure I call life!
Happy Reading!
T.B
(And I don’t mean the disease)
Who ever you are,
Welcome!
Tallulah Belle Here,
Thank you for stopping by and checking in on me!
Get comfy, put your feet up or down depending on where you are sitting.
Pop the kettle on, and make yourself a cup of warm love, and sip it slowly whilst you enter the world of Tallulah Belle!
Not for the faint hearted! You might find yourself travelling through time and space as you read some of my treasured moments that I have experienced so far!
You will also get the grand opportunity of meeting my cat sprinkles, who can both read and write and speak English and Spanish, she also has a few of her short animal tales featuring on this blog!
Enjoy, and it made you feel warm and fuzzy inside then I don’t see any harm in inviting your friends and enemies to join us on this wild adventure I call life!
Happy Reading!
T.B
(And I don’t mean the disease)
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