January 18
“The day before”
I woke up this morning feeling very excited and confused about starting my life as a student.
I woke up at 6 am, I thought that I would practice waking up at 6 am; so that I could get used this disciplined life as a cup cake chef.
I thought that I would start this day by driving to my new college, and pretend that today was my first day at college, so today I will wear tomorrows clothes (a cute 50`s frock, my favourite green cardigan, and my new lucky silk head band, and of course my cute adorable favourite black pants) This would be today’s and tomorrows outfit!
As I got out of bed, I felt something knock me back into my pillow. I lay there feeling heavy, like a boulder for the penguins to bask upon. But I did not feel like being a penguin’s litter box today no sorreee! But for some reason I couldn’t move, I felt paralysed. The only thing that was able to function was my little brain “Betsy”. Yes I have named my brain!
7 am, I am running behind on my pretend first day schedule, what a disaster!
Why can’t I move?
My mom came into my bedroom, and I told her about my devastating predicament , she tried to pick me up, but alas, her arms fell off ( not really, but it could have)
she said that I was being silly, and that I was probably nervous for my big day tomorrow. I insisted that I had some kind of deformity that had developed over night! She sighed then left me in this rotten state- unforgivable move mother! Leaving your daughter paralysed and doomed to be depressed for who knows how long!
8 am, here I am still lying like a rock, I could’ve sworn that a pigeon made a nest in my hair , it feels like I have been here for years, been locked up physically like a prison. How could my body turn on me like this!
8:30 am, ok this is extremely boring! Hmm, I must attempt some kind of movement! I will attempt moving my big toe; I concentrated really hard, and placed all of my focus and energy into moving my right sided big toe! “Come on toe” I shouted, but again, another huge disappointment! Nothing.
9 am, I started to talking to myself, I laughed with myself, then began crying, and also pretending to act shocked at myself at my responsive dialogue. Actually I was surprised that I was surprising myself, hmm this is an all time low!
Time to imagine Elsie, My dream cupcake! Elsie has been a dream ever since I can remember. She is the ultimate or should I say will be the most ultimate cupcake the world has ever seen. I started imagining the sponge of Elsie, I started picturing the sweet delicious fluffy pink icing that would become Elsie’s hair, hmm mouth watering indeed!
As I started picturing Elsie, I could start to feel my body defrosting; the warmth of Elsie’s everlasting personality had broken through the walls of this paralysing fear of starting my studies! I sat up, I rolled my legs to the side of bed, I placed my weight on my two naked feet, and stood!
“I am standing”: I sang.
What a moment to remember! I got ready for my pretend my first day; I marched out of my bedroom triumphantly!
Nothing could stop me now, my parents watched as I opened the door, a bit confused by this transaction. I didn’t let that confuse me, I was a free woman! I opened the door, swung it past my empowered body.
I stood there frozen once again, as I realised it was dark, 8 pm, time had past so suddenly whilst I lay dead on bed.
I lay on the floor half outside the front door and half inside of my house. I couldn’t move, my paralysing moment had returned!
My mother came to see what I was doing on the floor; maybe she thought I was licking the floor clean!
I opened my cold frozen mouth, and said:” I can’t believe tomorrow will be the first time.” And before I could finish off the sentence, mother placed the rug over my body, and said: “Least you will be dressed and ready for your first day of college sweaty”, now get some rest!
I decided that I would sleep here, I think I decided that because I couldn’t actually move, but my mother was right, as soon as my alarm hit 6 am, I would rise front his comatose state and fly into my car already dressed and ready for my first day.
“The day before”
I woke up this morning feeling very excited and confused about starting my life as a student.
I woke up at 6 am, I thought that I would practice waking up at 6 am; so that I could get used this disciplined life as a cup cake chef.
I thought that I would start this day by driving to my new college, and pretend that today was my first day at college, so today I will wear tomorrows clothes (a cute 50`s frock, my favourite green cardigan, and my new lucky silk head band, and of course my cute adorable favourite black pants) This would be today’s and tomorrows outfit!
As I got out of bed, I felt something knock me back into my pillow. I lay there feeling heavy, like a boulder for the penguins to bask upon. But I did not feel like being a penguin’s litter box today no sorreee! But for some reason I couldn’t move, I felt paralysed. The only thing that was able to function was my little brain “Betsy”. Yes I have named my brain!
7 am, I am running behind on my pretend first day schedule, what a disaster!
Why can’t I move?
My mom came into my bedroom, and I told her about my devastating predicament , she tried to pick me up, but alas, her arms fell off ( not really, but it could have)
she said that I was being silly, and that I was probably nervous for my big day tomorrow. I insisted that I had some kind of deformity that had developed over night! She sighed then left me in this rotten state- unforgivable move mother! Leaving your daughter paralysed and doomed to be depressed for who knows how long!
8 am, here I am still lying like a rock, I could’ve sworn that a pigeon made a nest in my hair , it feels like I have been here for years, been locked up physically like a prison. How could my body turn on me like this!
8:30 am, ok this is extremely boring! Hmm, I must attempt some kind of movement! I will attempt moving my big toe; I concentrated really hard, and placed all of my focus and energy into moving my right sided big toe! “Come on toe” I shouted, but again, another huge disappointment! Nothing.
9 am, I started to talking to myself, I laughed with myself, then began crying, and also pretending to act shocked at myself at my responsive dialogue. Actually I was surprised that I was surprising myself, hmm this is an all time low!
Time to imagine Elsie, My dream cupcake! Elsie has been a dream ever since I can remember. She is the ultimate or should I say will be the most ultimate cupcake the world has ever seen. I started imagining the sponge of Elsie, I started picturing the sweet delicious fluffy pink icing that would become Elsie’s hair, hmm mouth watering indeed!
As I started picturing Elsie, I could start to feel my body defrosting; the warmth of Elsie’s everlasting personality had broken through the walls of this paralysing fear of starting my studies! I sat up, I rolled my legs to the side of bed, I placed my weight on my two naked feet, and stood!
“I am standing”: I sang.
What a moment to remember! I got ready for my pretend my first day; I marched out of my bedroom triumphantly!
Nothing could stop me now, my parents watched as I opened the door, a bit confused by this transaction. I didn’t let that confuse me, I was a free woman! I opened the door, swung it past my empowered body.
I stood there frozen once again, as I realised it was dark, 8 pm, time had past so suddenly whilst I lay dead on bed.
I lay on the floor half outside the front door and half inside of my house. I couldn’t move, my paralysing moment had returned!
My mother came to see what I was doing on the floor; maybe she thought I was licking the floor clean!
I opened my cold frozen mouth, and said:” I can’t believe tomorrow will be the first time.” And before I could finish off the sentence, mother placed the rug over my body, and said: “Least you will be dressed and ready for your first day of college sweaty”, now get some rest!
I decided that I would sleep here, I think I decided that because I couldn’t actually move, but my mother was right, as soon as my alarm hit 6 am, I would rise front his comatose state and fly into my car already dressed and ready for my first day.
